Tuesday, June 8, 2021

Are You Single Because Most People Are Jerks?

Tired of being stigmatized because you've realized that most people are jerks? Tips for dealing with insecure couples and others who would stigmatize you for your discriminating taste.

1) Accept that relationships come and go, but mostly go.

2) Enjoy free porn, but invest in good anti-virus software.

3) Accept that moods are cyclical; if you're happy now, wait a few hours.

4) Accept that some people grow up to be professional athletes and some people die of horrible wasting diseases. Similarly, some people get married and some people -- like you -- don't.

5) When someone calls you a commit-a-phobe, counter with the number of friends you've had for more than a decade, the number of years you've had the same car, or the number of years you've had the same career – all numbers that will no doubt exceed the length of most marriages.

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Photo credit: Lake image by Richie Diesterheft [CC-BY-2.0], via Wikimedia Commons

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